I had always wanted three or four children for as long as I could remember. But after 8 years of marriage it was a dream that I had long given up on; although I felt the pain of being childless all the time.
Dale and I were living just outside of Essex in the country. He was children's pastor at the church and I offered child care in our home. I was caring for one family that had a little boy and two foster children. After chatting with the mom about the need for foster parents in the area an idea was born in my heart that this was something we could do! We had a ton of space in that home, and I thought we could make a difference in a child's life. I believed it was something we should pursue.
We made the call to CAS and then began the invasive home study and a ten week long fostering course with other prospective foster parents.
It was during the home study we were informed that they would never place children in our home under the age of 6. They felt that us not being able to have our own children we would not want to give the children up when it was time for them to go home with their parents.
That was so disappointing! I felt like I was a better fit with younger children as I had been "babysitting" younger kids for years and really loved that age. I knew that older children came with more baggage and would be more of a challenge and I honestly didn't think I could handle an older school aged child; not with the attitudes and acting out. I felt defeated before we even began.
We were not even finished with our course when the call came from CAS. They were in desperate need for a home for a brother and sister. Could we take them right away?
Their ages were eighteen months and two years old!
I don't have to tell you how excited and happy I was. It was a dream come true!
They came for a visit one evening to meet us first before they made the move to our home.
Blue eyed, curly blond haired Benny and his brown eyed little sister. Both of them were so cute.
Dale had set me down before we met them and said " We cannot get attached to these kids" He had a plan to just hold them at arms length and not get his heart involved.
After meeting them that line of thinking went out the window because it was love at first sight!
Benny was hyper, always on the go and very clumsy; accident prone. I remember one time he walked right into a glass door at church, rubbed his head and asked " How did that get there?"
That has been a saying that we now use all the time!
Elisa was always cute and just an all around happy child. Just learning to walk, she was a bit wobbly on her feet.
Every week they had visits with their mom, older sisters and brother. We would get them ready, a driver would come and pick them up and then drop them back off again when the visit was over.
Four months in we received a call asking us if we had room for the brother Jake. He; like Ben and Elisa was being made "crown ward no access" At the time he was still living with his older sisters who still had visits with mom. In order to make things easier they wanted to move him in with us. It would have been devastating to have to tell him that his sisters could go see mom but he had to stay behind. Can you imagine having to explain that to a four year old?
Anyway, we definitely had the space, so the last day of school that summer, Jake came to live with us. He was exactly like his worker described ....a little pistol! Cute as a button though...but my goodness what a handful. His first night in our home he peed on the carpet in his room!
It is a long story but eventually mom signed off on the kids. We didn't even have to go to court to sing the affidavit.
We had a lawyer tell us, "look, if you want to adopt these kids...speak up!"
Of course we did. We wanted to keep them together as a family..not have each of them end up in separate foster homes never again to see each other.
And so the adoption process began. We had another home study and an adoption course to complete. It took what seemed like forever.
By the time everything was final, Elisa was already four years old.
There was a lot of red tape. The courts had to sign off on the dad because he was no where to be found, there were spelling mistakes between the health card and the birth certificate, one thing after another , another hoop to jump through, the glitches kept coming.
My greatest fear in it all was that we would lose the kids. It was taking so very long. I was afraid that mom would change her mind and want the kids back, and that would be it, they would be gone, lost to us forever, our dreams of being a forever family destroyed.
Thankfully, that didn't happen and when everything was final we had them dedicated to the glory of God in our church in Essex. Family was there along with our kids siblings ( who by the way we still maintain relationships with) and all of the workers who had worked along side from the beginning.
Afterwards one of the workers commented on what a miracle it was and it was obvious who we worked for.
Indeed it was a miracle. It was a dream realized. Not just one child, but three....instant family!
It has been several years since that journey began as our children are now 11, 12 and 14. In some ways it seems like they have always been with us. It has been an adventure since the day they walked through the door and stepped into our hearts.
It hasn't always been easy. There have been a lot of challenges and things to work through. We aren't perfect parents, we have made our share of mistakes, but we are there for each other, we love each other through it all. Today and always I am thankful for them!
Here is a photo of the kids with their older sisters Maria and Anna.
No comments:
Post a Comment