I just want to share something really neat that happened to Dale this past week. It really was an answer to prayer before it was even uttered.
Dale was working at his desk when a call came in for him. As per usual when he talks on the phone, he removed his hearing aid and set it on the desk. When the call was finished he put it back in his ear. There was a problem however. It didn't work.
He shut it off and on...nothing but silence.
A call was made to one of the hearing aid places in town, and he took it in to them. They thought perhaps moisture had got into them so they put it in a dryer ( for hearing aids) overnight.
The following afternoon after not hearing from them, he called to see what was up and was informed that the dryer did not work. He scheduled an appointment for later in the day. They told him the problem was not moisture but something was digitally wrong with it.
He was given two options. He could send it in for repair for about $500 or replace his hearing aids for around $2500.00 Neither was a great choice. Dale told him why: that we were leaving for Honduras for missions. The man at the hearing aid place remembered hearing about that and understood his plight...the need to hear but also not being able to afford it at this time.
Then it was like a light came on. Just the previous week a lady came in and brought in brand new hearing aids that had never been worn. They had been her husband's and he refused to wear them because they frustrated him. Rather than him not wearing them she thought someone else might make better use of them. The set was identical to the ones Dale had before...just a different colour and there they were...just sitting in a desk drawer.
They were set for volume but not quite loud enough for Dale so the volume was adjusted. When put in the ears there was a lot of feedback and it was discovered that the feedback had never been set in the first place! No wonder the older gentleman had been so annoyed with them!
The problem was no one remembered who had returned them....Dale was blessed with them at no cost..absolutely free! Remember...these are BRAND NEW hearing aids! Amazing!
God knew Dale would be needing a new hearing aid. He provided a way for him to have it before we even asked . That would have been a huge cost and would have cost a fair amount of stress as it would have been unavoidable. I mean one has to hear, right..? To come up with the money for it though would have been a stretch as it was not budgeted for.
God knows what we have need of and before we even pray..He knows! He knows what is on our heart and He cares..even about hearing aids. He is so faithful!
Showing posts with label Other thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Other thoughts. Show all posts
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Friday, October 5, 2012
"Forever family" How our story began...
This Thanksgiving there are so many things I am thankful for but today I wanted to focus on one thing...my family.
I had always wanted three or four children for as long as I could remember. But after 8 years of marriage it was a dream that I had long given up on; although I felt the pain of being childless all the time.
Dale and I were living just outside of Essex in the country. He was children's pastor at the church and I offered child care in our home. I was caring for one family that had a little boy and two foster children. After chatting with the mom about the need for foster parents in the area an idea was born in my heart that this was something we could do! We had a ton of space in that home, and I thought we could make a difference in a child's life. I believed it was something we should pursue.
We made the call to CAS and then began the invasive home study and a ten week long fostering course with other prospective foster parents.
It was during the home study we were informed that they would never place children in our home under the age of 6. They felt that us not being able to have our own children we would not want to give the children up when it was time for them to go home with their parents.
That was so disappointing! I felt like I was a better fit with younger children as I had been "babysitting" younger kids for years and really loved that age. I knew that older children came with more baggage and would be more of a challenge and I honestly didn't think I could handle an older school aged child; not with the attitudes and acting out. I felt defeated before we even began.
We were not even finished with our course when the call came from CAS. They were in desperate need for a home for a brother and sister. Could we take them right away?
Their ages were eighteen months and two years old!
I don't have to tell you how excited and happy I was. It was a dream come true!
They came for a visit one evening to meet us first before they made the move to our home.
Blue eyed, curly blond haired Benny and his brown eyed little sister. Both of them were so cute.
Dale had set me down before we met them and said " We cannot get attached to these kids" He had a plan to just hold them at arms length and not get his heart involved.
After meeting them that line of thinking went out the window because it was love at first sight!
Benny was hyper, always on the go and very clumsy; accident prone. I remember one time he walked right into a glass door at church, rubbed his head and asked " How did that get there?"
That has been a saying that we now use all the time!
Elisa was always cute and just an all around happy child. Just learning to walk, she was a bit wobbly on her feet.
Every week they had visits with their mom, older sisters and brother. We would get them ready, a driver would come and pick them up and then drop them back off again when the visit was over.
Four months in we received a call asking us if we had room for the brother Jake. He; like Ben and Elisa was being made "crown ward no access" At the time he was still living with his older sisters who still had visits with mom. In order to make things easier they wanted to move him in with us. It would have been devastating to have to tell him that his sisters could go see mom but he had to stay behind. Can you imagine having to explain that to a four year old?
Anyway, we definitely had the space, so the last day of school that summer, Jake came to live with us. He was exactly like his worker described ....a little pistol! Cute as a button though...but my goodness what a handful. His first night in our home he peed on the carpet in his room!
It is a long story but eventually mom signed off on the kids. We didn't even have to go to court to sing the affidavit.
We had a lawyer tell us, "look, if you want to adopt these kids...speak up!"
Of course we did. We wanted to keep them together as a family..not have each of them end up in separate foster homes never again to see each other.
And so the adoption process began. We had another home study and an adoption course to complete. It took what seemed like forever.
By the time everything was final, Elisa was already four years old.
There was a lot of red tape. The courts had to sign off on the dad because he was no where to be found, there were spelling mistakes between the health card and the birth certificate, one thing after another , another hoop to jump through, the glitches kept coming.
My greatest fear in it all was that we would lose the kids. It was taking so very long. I was afraid that mom would change her mind and want the kids back, and that would be it, they would be gone, lost to us forever, our dreams of being a forever family destroyed.
Thankfully, that didn't happen and when everything was final we had them dedicated to the glory of God in our church in Essex. Family was there along with our kids siblings ( who by the way we still maintain relationships with) and all of the workers who had worked along side from the beginning.
Afterwards one of the workers commented on what a miracle it was and it was obvious who we worked for.
Indeed it was a miracle. It was a dream realized. Not just one child, but three....instant family!
It has been several years since that journey began as our children are now 11, 12 and 14. In some ways it seems like they have always been with us. It has been an adventure since the day they walked through the door and stepped into our hearts.
It hasn't always been easy. There have been a lot of challenges and things to work through. We aren't perfect parents, we have made our share of mistakes, but we are there for each other, we love each other through it all. Today and always I am thankful for them!
I had always wanted three or four children for as long as I could remember. But after 8 years of marriage it was a dream that I had long given up on; although I felt the pain of being childless all the time.
Dale and I were living just outside of Essex in the country. He was children's pastor at the church and I offered child care in our home. I was caring for one family that had a little boy and two foster children. After chatting with the mom about the need for foster parents in the area an idea was born in my heart that this was something we could do! We had a ton of space in that home, and I thought we could make a difference in a child's life. I believed it was something we should pursue.
We made the call to CAS and then began the invasive home study and a ten week long fostering course with other prospective foster parents.
It was during the home study we were informed that they would never place children in our home under the age of 6. They felt that us not being able to have our own children we would not want to give the children up when it was time for them to go home with their parents.
That was so disappointing! I felt like I was a better fit with younger children as I had been "babysitting" younger kids for years and really loved that age. I knew that older children came with more baggage and would be more of a challenge and I honestly didn't think I could handle an older school aged child; not with the attitudes and acting out. I felt defeated before we even began.
We were not even finished with our course when the call came from CAS. They were in desperate need for a home for a brother and sister. Could we take them right away?
Their ages were eighteen months and two years old!
I don't have to tell you how excited and happy I was. It was a dream come true!
They came for a visit one evening to meet us first before they made the move to our home.
Blue eyed, curly blond haired Benny and his brown eyed little sister. Both of them were so cute.
Dale had set me down before we met them and said " We cannot get attached to these kids" He had a plan to just hold them at arms length and not get his heart involved.
After meeting them that line of thinking went out the window because it was love at first sight!
Benny was hyper, always on the go and very clumsy; accident prone. I remember one time he walked right into a glass door at church, rubbed his head and asked " How did that get there?"
That has been a saying that we now use all the time!
Elisa was always cute and just an all around happy child. Just learning to walk, she was a bit wobbly on her feet.
Every week they had visits with their mom, older sisters and brother. We would get them ready, a driver would come and pick them up and then drop them back off again when the visit was over.
Four months in we received a call asking us if we had room for the brother Jake. He; like Ben and Elisa was being made "crown ward no access" At the time he was still living with his older sisters who still had visits with mom. In order to make things easier they wanted to move him in with us. It would have been devastating to have to tell him that his sisters could go see mom but he had to stay behind. Can you imagine having to explain that to a four year old?
Anyway, we definitely had the space, so the last day of school that summer, Jake came to live with us. He was exactly like his worker described ....a little pistol! Cute as a button though...but my goodness what a handful. His first night in our home he peed on the carpet in his room!
It is a long story but eventually mom signed off on the kids. We didn't even have to go to court to sing the affidavit.
We had a lawyer tell us, "look, if you want to adopt these kids...speak up!"
Of course we did. We wanted to keep them together as a family..not have each of them end up in separate foster homes never again to see each other.
And so the adoption process began. We had another home study and an adoption course to complete. It took what seemed like forever.
By the time everything was final, Elisa was already four years old.
There was a lot of red tape. The courts had to sign off on the dad because he was no where to be found, there were spelling mistakes between the health card and the birth certificate, one thing after another , another hoop to jump through, the glitches kept coming.
My greatest fear in it all was that we would lose the kids. It was taking so very long. I was afraid that mom would change her mind and want the kids back, and that would be it, they would be gone, lost to us forever, our dreams of being a forever family destroyed.
Thankfully, that didn't happen and when everything was final we had them dedicated to the glory of God in our church in Essex. Family was there along with our kids siblings ( who by the way we still maintain relationships with) and all of the workers who had worked along side from the beginning.
Afterwards one of the workers commented on what a miracle it was and it was obvious who we worked for.
Indeed it was a miracle. It was a dream realized. Not just one child, but three....instant family!
It has been several years since that journey began as our children are now 11, 12 and 14. In some ways it seems like they have always been with us. It has been an adventure since the day they walked through the door and stepped into our hearts.
It hasn't always been easy. There have been a lot of challenges and things to work through. We aren't perfect parents, we have made our share of mistakes, but we are there for each other, we love each other through it all. Today and always I am thankful for them!
Here is a photo of the kids with their older sisters Maria and Anna.
Wednesday, October 3, 2012
One Wednesday in October..
It has been a rough day or so. A discovery was made that made my heart stop and left me reeling inside with a gnawing sense of worry.
With the simple click of the mouse...mystery solved. What was hidden was made known, the truth glaring at me from the screen of the laptop.
My husband would say I am worrying over nothing and perhaps I am....but isn't that my job as a mom?
I love how God does that. He puts something on our heart to clue us in to what is going on with our children. It's like a nudge or a whisper in the ear. It's that sense of knowing not all is as it appears. Something is up..and then He shows us.
Jer. 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
But Satan has other plans and they are the opposite of God's plans. Plans to steal, kill and destroy.
He doesn't want us to have that future or a hope God has for us so he weaves his deception, his lies into our hearts and minds so we think something is ok..or harmless when it is far from it.
We can't serve two masters.
We can't be a part time christian- only at church ....but at school, work or wherever we may be live like the devil. The things that we do, the places we go, the things we watch on tv or the internet..etc
Either we are serving Him or we are not.
Rev 3:15, 16
I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot or cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither not or cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!
We need to stop and think would we want our christian friends, or our pastor knowing what we are up to when no one else is around? If Jesus were standing beside us in the flesh would we still do it?
Satan is the father of lies. His goal is to destroy us.
Sometimes it's subtle. He may use "stuff" to distract us. Stuff that isn't necessarily bad in itself, but maybe it replaces the time that we once spent in the word, praying or talking to God.
The descent may be slow, where we don't even notice how far we've slipped and fallen, until we find ourselves doing things or thinking things we know would break the heart of God.
A song that comes to mind is that old Steve Camp song "the fire that once burned bright, we've let it grow dim. And the very Word we said that we would die for, all has been forgotten as the world's become our friend"
I don't want to see my child struggle. I know high school is a tough place to be a christian; even more so than when I was there many years ago. I know his desire to serve Jesus. The change in him this past summer was nothing short of miraculous. I believe with all my heart is was all part of the preparation he is in for when we go to Honduras. God did an amazing work in him!
But, I also know his desire to fit in with his peers. The desire to be liked and accepted. There is also that teenage arrogance there thinking he is on top of the world and can handle anything that is thrown at him.
I know it is spiritual warfare and the battle for his soul is on. The battle for all our souls really. Whether we are going on the mission field or not. Whether we are rich or poor, young or old...
Eph. 6:12
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies., but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Heb 12:1,2a
Therefore since we are surrounded by such a large crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up, And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.
That is the prayer for my family...that we would constantly keep our eyes on Him..that we would not look to the left or right or get side tracked by things in this life..that we would continue to pursue Him as we walk this journey, the road to Hope.
With the simple click of the mouse...mystery solved. What was hidden was made known, the truth glaring at me from the screen of the laptop.
My husband would say I am worrying over nothing and perhaps I am....but isn't that my job as a mom?
I love how God does that. He puts something on our heart to clue us in to what is going on with our children. It's like a nudge or a whisper in the ear. It's that sense of knowing not all is as it appears. Something is up..and then He shows us.
Jer. 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
But Satan has other plans and they are the opposite of God's plans. Plans to steal, kill and destroy.
He doesn't want us to have that future or a hope God has for us so he weaves his deception, his lies into our hearts and minds so we think something is ok..or harmless when it is far from it.
We can't serve two masters.
We can't be a part time christian- only at church ....but at school, work or wherever we may be live like the devil. The things that we do, the places we go, the things we watch on tv or the internet..etc
Either we are serving Him or we are not.
Rev 3:15, 16
I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot or cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither not or cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!
We need to stop and think would we want our christian friends, or our pastor knowing what we are up to when no one else is around? If Jesus were standing beside us in the flesh would we still do it?
Satan is the father of lies. His goal is to destroy us.
Sometimes it's subtle. He may use "stuff" to distract us. Stuff that isn't necessarily bad in itself, but maybe it replaces the time that we once spent in the word, praying or talking to God.
The descent may be slow, where we don't even notice how far we've slipped and fallen, until we find ourselves doing things or thinking things we know would break the heart of God.
A song that comes to mind is that old Steve Camp song "the fire that once burned bright, we've let it grow dim. And the very Word we said that we would die for, all has been forgotten as the world's become our friend"
I don't want to see my child struggle. I know high school is a tough place to be a christian; even more so than when I was there many years ago. I know his desire to serve Jesus. The change in him this past summer was nothing short of miraculous. I believe with all my heart is was all part of the preparation he is in for when we go to Honduras. God did an amazing work in him!
But, I also know his desire to fit in with his peers. The desire to be liked and accepted. There is also that teenage arrogance there thinking he is on top of the world and can handle anything that is thrown at him.
I know it is spiritual warfare and the battle for his soul is on. The battle for all our souls really. Whether we are going on the mission field or not. Whether we are rich or poor, young or old...
Eph. 6:12
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies., but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
Heb 12:1,2a
Therefore since we are surrounded by such a large crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up, And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.
That is the prayer for my family...that we would constantly keep our eyes on Him..that we would not look to the left or right or get side tracked by things in this life..that we would continue to pursue Him as we walk this journey, the road to Hope.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Friend to the "friendless"
I was so proud of my son Benjamin yesterday.
On our street lives an autistic boy "J" who is about 9 or 10 years old.
"J" is on new meds that him wandering all over the place at all hours of the day and night for that matter. He will come up to the door and want in the house and I will tell him he needs to go home because his mommy is looking for him. I am not sure if there is a dad in the picture or not as I have only seen his mom with him. I have watched her struggle with him trying to get him to listen or reason. Quite often he does his own thing as he tunes her out.
Yesterday Ben went outside and played with him even though he would have rather been doing other things.....for 5 hours! What sacrifice.
"J" had been hanging around our house looking in the screen door, wandering around the yard wanting someone to play with. He was really starting to get on my nerves, and here is Ben showing the love of Jesus to him by being a friend to him, regardless if the child was "different"...It didn't bother Ben in the least, he liked him for him. Really put me to shame.
He later told me that "J" is a nice kid once you get to know him.
That's my boy....liking people for who they are as a person...he takes the time to get to know people . Who cares if society deems them as different or annoying. He gives them a chance and knows how to be a friend.
Isn't that a lot like Jesus?
He loves us all regardless of who we are, where we are or what we have done, unconditionally. We don't have to become anything to be worthy of His love. He always has time for us. He is always there for us.
Nothing can separate us from His love..nothing!
Romans 8:31-39 ( The Message)
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:
On our street lives an autistic boy "J" who is about 9 or 10 years old.
"J" is on new meds that him wandering all over the place at all hours of the day and night for that matter. He will come up to the door and want in the house and I will tell him he needs to go home because his mommy is looking for him. I am not sure if there is a dad in the picture or not as I have only seen his mom with him. I have watched her struggle with him trying to get him to listen or reason. Quite often he does his own thing as he tunes her out.
Yesterday Ben went outside and played with him even though he would have rather been doing other things.....for 5 hours! What sacrifice.
"J" had been hanging around our house looking in the screen door, wandering around the yard wanting someone to play with. He was really starting to get on my nerves, and here is Ben showing the love of Jesus to him by being a friend to him, regardless if the child was "different"...It didn't bother Ben in the least, he liked him for him. Really put me to shame.
He later told me that "J" is a nice kid once you get to know him.
That's my boy....liking people for who they are as a person...he takes the time to get to know people . Who cares if society deems them as different or annoying. He gives them a chance and knows how to be a friend.
Isn't that a lot like Jesus?
He loves us all regardless of who we are, where we are or what we have done, unconditionally. We don't have to become anything to be worthy of His love. He always has time for us. He is always there for us.
Nothing can separate us from His love..nothing!
Romans 8:31-39 ( The Message)
So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:
They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.
None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Tough pill to swallow
A couple of years ago my daughter was diagnosed with ADD. It made perfect sense; a piece to the puzzle solved...and yet when I heard... I cried.
I thought back to all the times I was hard on her for not keeping her room to my standards, for just throwing her stuff all over the place and not being able to focus on any one thing, being so easily distracted. It made perfect sense, much as I didn't want to accept it.
I would send her off to her room to do a few things only to come back and find not one of them done. Honestly..it drove me crazy!
So, when I heard there was a reason for all these behaviours, not just her trying to be disobedient; something inside of me broke.
Our Dr put her on a low dose and from day one her teachers noticed a huge difference in her. She was listening and no longer disrupting the class, her grades improved. The meds were only for school, for concentrating on her lessons. She would not be on them on the weekends or any school vacations.
This year however, in chatting with her teacher one morning, the thought went through my mind that perhaps her dosage needed to be increased. She didn't seem to be doing as well. She was slipping into her old patterns.
However the next morning a light went on! It was one of those aha moments. I clued in that she had not been taking her medication.
I didn't think at her age that I needed to stand over her and make certain that she actually takes the pill but apparently I should have.
When confronted about it her reply broke my heart.
"Mommy, I just wanted to prove to everyone that I don't need the pills anymore"
How she hates having ADD . She hates to be labelled a stupid ADD girl as some kids have called her. I can't count the times she has prayed that she would wake up and not have it anymore.
My heart hurts for her. How I wish I could just take an eraser and blot this out of her life so she no longer has to struggle with it and feel that she is "different" than everyone else.
I long for her to realize her full potential. She IS smart, compassionate, sweet and giving. This is the girl that spent some of her birthday money on a beta fish for her brother Ben to replace his fish that our cat killed. Rather than spending it on herself she spent it on her brother and totally brightened his day. She was so excited that day!
She doesn't want to need the meds that help her so she was trying to do it on her own without them and it just did not work.
How many times do we do that in life? All of us have done it at one time or another. Trying to do life in our strength without God's help, and end up falling flat on our face. Just like it says in Phil 4.:13...that "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me the strength..."
I believe that without Him we can do nothing..and we will fail if we rely on our own strength.
It's kind of like getting in a car that has no gas and expecting to go somewhere...it's not gonna happen!
Recently my mother in law was chatting with a friend who is a global worker in another part of Central America. Her grandson had come to visit for a year and his ADD symptoms all but disappeared while he was living there. The reason? They believe that it is because the food there does not have all the additives in it that the food here has.
I have also heard that in Honduras, ADD is unheard of. I don't even know for sure if her medication will be available there.
Perhaps once my daughter is on a different "diet" her symptoms too will disappear...
that's this mother's prayer anyway.
I thought back to all the times I was hard on her for not keeping her room to my standards, for just throwing her stuff all over the place and not being able to focus on any one thing, being so easily distracted. It made perfect sense, much as I didn't want to accept it.
I would send her off to her room to do a few things only to come back and find not one of them done. Honestly..it drove me crazy!
So, when I heard there was a reason for all these behaviours, not just her trying to be disobedient; something inside of me broke.
Our Dr put her on a low dose and from day one her teachers noticed a huge difference in her. She was listening and no longer disrupting the class, her grades improved. The meds were only for school, for concentrating on her lessons. She would not be on them on the weekends or any school vacations.
This year however, in chatting with her teacher one morning, the thought went through my mind that perhaps her dosage needed to be increased. She didn't seem to be doing as well. She was slipping into her old patterns.
However the next morning a light went on! It was one of those aha moments. I clued in that she had not been taking her medication.
I didn't think at her age that I needed to stand over her and make certain that she actually takes the pill but apparently I should have.
When confronted about it her reply broke my heart.
"Mommy, I just wanted to prove to everyone that I don't need the pills anymore"
How she hates having ADD . She hates to be labelled a stupid ADD girl as some kids have called her. I can't count the times she has prayed that she would wake up and not have it anymore.
My heart hurts for her. How I wish I could just take an eraser and blot this out of her life so she no longer has to struggle with it and feel that she is "different" than everyone else.
I long for her to realize her full potential. She IS smart, compassionate, sweet and giving. This is the girl that spent some of her birthday money on a beta fish for her brother Ben to replace his fish that our cat killed. Rather than spending it on herself she spent it on her brother and totally brightened his day. She was so excited that day!
She doesn't want to need the meds that help her so she was trying to do it on her own without them and it just did not work.
How many times do we do that in life? All of us have done it at one time or another. Trying to do life in our strength without God's help, and end up falling flat on our face. Just like it says in Phil 4.:13...that "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me the strength..."
I believe that without Him we can do nothing..and we will fail if we rely on our own strength.
It's kind of like getting in a car that has no gas and expecting to go somewhere...it's not gonna happen!
Recently my mother in law was chatting with a friend who is a global worker in another part of Central America. Her grandson had come to visit for a year and his ADD symptoms all but disappeared while he was living there. The reason? They believe that it is because the food there does not have all the additives in it that the food here has.
I have also heard that in Honduras, ADD is unheard of. I don't even know for sure if her medication will be available there.
Perhaps once my daughter is on a different "diet" her symptoms too will disappear...
that's this mother's prayer anyway.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Another chapter comes to a close...losing Maddie
We lost our dog on Friday. I hesitate to write this now; when the pain is still very real and emotions are raw.
It doesn't take long for people to realize that I have a soft spot for animals. One only has to look at my facebook page and see the many photos of our pets to know that.
When we first knew we would be leaving for Honduras, my thoughts also turned to what would we do with our dog? She was older, we had had her for 11 years and she was atleast a year when we adopted her. She had arthritis and was also deaf. I knew she would never make the trip. The flight alone would have probably done her in. I asked my parents but knew it wasn't fair to ask them, as they could never give her the care she needed on a full time basis.
I began to pray about it.."God, if Maddie can't come with us to Honduras, then please just take her peacefully in her sleep before we go" I didn't want to have to put her down before it was time; before she or we were ready. I so wanted her to come with us to Honduras, but knew in my heart of hearts it was not realistic.
Looking back it was shortly after returning from Honduras that Maddie began to decline somewhat.
In early June I took Maddie to the vet because she was very lethargic, and not herself. She was "napping" in the weirdest places, like under the kitchen table instead of her bed...Although she still had her appetite!
It was at this vet appointment that the vet detected something new. Maddie was in heart failure.
I mentioned to the vet about us moving to Honduras and she said "Maddie is not a good candidate for that"
I asked her how much time she thought Maddie had left and was told the last dog she had seen with this lasted three months before passing. "It's like sudden death"
The news was sobering.
After that Maddie seemed somewhat alright. Dale had even commented that he didn't think the vet was right and maybe she just had a virus or something. He didn't think there was really anything wrong with her heart.
She still struggled with her arthritis but managed ok with the help of duralacin shipped from a friend in the states and her glucosomine.
Yet she did need help getting up and down the stairs and off of the furniture. She was a bit too crippled up to do those things on her own.
Most of the time she slept on her bed under the end table in the living room. It was like her little cave.
One night she was sleeping on the couch comfortably in the family room. So when we went to bed we let her be; not wanting to disturb her.
The next morning I slept in til 6:30, (if you can call it that--normally I am up way before 6:30.) I heard her walking up the wooden stairs. She had jumped off the couch on her own.
When she did this she damaged her front paw somehow. It just kind of hung there all limp like. It was weird because it didn't seem to hurt her when we touched it. We later found out that it wasn't broken but there was nerve damage there.
The following day I was sick and laying on the couch in the family room. I saw Maddie standing at the top of the stairs and I knew she wanted down to be with me. That's how she was; always wanting to be where her family was.
I called for her to "wait!" But it was too late- down those wooden stairs she fell and more less flew across the floor landing on her side. I remember crying "Maddie, why didn't you wait for me?"
I think that was the final straw. We don't know how much damage she did internally.
After that she moved even more slowly- taking a few steps and then just laying down, not even bothering with her comfortable bed. She couldn't manage to walk there. She had also collapsed three times on us that week. She would just lay there on the kitchen floor and we would pick her up and put her on her bed.
The last two days she was with us, we put her on our bed with us at night. When she was younger she always slept at the foot of the bed until she could no longer get on and off by herself.
That last morning when Dale helped her off the bed she cried in pain when he picked her up. He put her outside and it seemed to take forever for her to find a place to go. She hobbled slowly along and finally went. Then rather than coming back to the house she just laid down in the grass. Dale brought her in and fed her and she ate and then laid down again, her head in her bowl. I lost it at the point. I knew we were losing her and it hurt so much to see her suffer. I knew she was hurting bad. I was so hoping that she would come around in the morning and we wouldn't have to take her in but instead she was worse. Dale picked her up and set her on bed in the living room.
All that final day she lay around -once in a while getting up to eat and go outside. She had her favorite treats that day; yogurt, cheese and ice cream, never losing her appetite even in her final moments.
I was happy and blessed to have a lot of time alone with her on her last day. Just her and I saying our goodbyes before Dale came and we took her on one final trip to the vet.
I know all along I had been saying when the time comes I didn't want to make that decision. With everything in me I prayed that when it was her time she would just go peacefully in her sleep. But it didn't happen that way.
Reflecting back though, I am so thankful it didn't . God reminded me of something. If Maddie had simply passed in her sleep, we wouldn't have had the chance to say our goodbyes and she would have died alone. Instead we were with her right until the very end and we had a chance to say goodbye.
The timing of it all is ironic.
In a couple weeks we are headed off to Peterborough for missions training. For the duration of that week we had previously arranged for my parents to take care of Maddie. They loved having her and Maddie loved being there. They spoiled her rotten!
However with their sunken in living room and deck to get off of to go outside, we were concerned about how Maddie would fare there this time. My parents were afraid to pick her up to help her down for fear of hurting her...so what would she do?
I believe God knew all this and knew how we would worry about her- knew how difficult it would be for my parents to deal with her, and how hard it would be on Maddie to get around.
Now, we don't need to worry about any of that. There is no longer any worry about what will happen to Maddie when we go to Honduras. Much as our hearts are broken and the pain is intense, we have the memories to treasure forever.. Maddie was old, weak and tired and the last couple days we knew she wanted to go. It was her time. We wanted more time with her, but it wasn't meant to be I guess.
It is going to be difficult without her as we see her shadow everywhere, and miss the littlest of things- her snoring, nails clicking on the floors, her under my feet in the kitchen, her pleading brown eyes looking up at me...no more almost empty yogurt containers for her to clean out...the list goes on and on..
I know God will give us the strength to get through the days ahead and He is even now. I know as painful as it is, it's part of our journey to Honduras. I am sure I will have my moments when the memories of her overwhelm me and I just break down, it's happened alot today actually...but I also know it will get easier.
I know I can trust God with our future as He works out His plan for our lives. It won't come without pain or hardship, but He will be there for us giving us strength.
Ps 34:18
The Lord is close to the broken hearted and he rescues thoses whose spirits are crushed.
Lamentations 3:20-23
I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: the faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness. His mercies begin a fresh each morning.
Monday, July 16, 2012
The Healing
Back when I was a small
child I suffered from epilepsy.
There were times when I would wake up in the hospital having no recollection of how I got there. Every time the answer was the same. "You had a convulsion"
I don't remember having them but I do recall one time being told that I had been playing at the school playground with some neighbourhood friends. I had a spell and had fallen off the monkey bars.
The school was just a few doors down from our home and one of my friends ran told my mom that I had fallen and wouldn't get up.
Now a days a parent would never send a child that young to play in the park without adult supervision. I guess times were different back then. It didn't seem to be that big of a deal. Maybe because I was with three or four other friends.
Anyway, when I came to, I was in the hospital.
One time it was a Sunday morning, and I distinctly remember asking the Dr. what day it was. When he told me it was Sunday I told him " Well, you had better let me out of here. I have to go to church!"
When I was a little girl, I truly loved Jesus with all my heart. I loved going to church and loved learning about him, and loved the worship part of the service.
Back then our church had an evening service that we always went to. On Sunday night there was a huge snow storm. My church at the time, ( Hiway Pentecostal) in Ingersoll had, had a special speaker there in the morning. Due to the storm he was stranded and unable to make his next speaking engagement. So, our pastor invited him to speak in the evening service.
He spoke on healing and I don't recall any of his message but I do know that with all my heart I sure didn't want to have epilepsy anymore. I heard that Jesus would heal me! I didn't have to have it anymore..I wanted that!
When the speaker called people up to the front that wanted to be healed, you can be sure I went forward. I believed with all my 6 year old little heart that Jesus would make me all better!
I was standing beside a friend at the time and the minister laid hands on both of us at the same time.
His prayer went something like this.."Father we pray for this brother and sister.." He didn't get to finish because I interrupted him and said."He is not my brother" I know now that wasn't what he meant.:-0)
Anyway, I didn't question if I was healed or not. I didn't go home thinking that "I sure hope I was healed!..or maybe He healed me" No, I simply believed with all my heart that He healed me; no doubt whatsoever. I don't think the thought crossed my mind that it might not happen. Oh to have that child like faith today! No seeds of doubt planted in my heart.
The next morning came and my mom had my pills set aside for me to take. I was on dilantin and phenobarb. I told her "I don't need those pills anymore, Jesus healed me!"
My mom was very concerned and still wanted me to take them. Now that I am a mom I totally get that thinking..I might be the same way actually if I were in her shoes. She was afraid of something happening; worried about her little girl having yet another seizure.
My dad has always been rather calm, easy going and relaxed; not so high strung, and he calmed her down. "Just wait and see"
I think he didn't want to destroy the faith that I had at 6 years old.
Still, a phone call was made to my teacher that morning, to explain the situation of me going to school without being medicated. My teacher was a christian though so she would have understood about divine healing. Basically she asked my teacher to keep an eye on me just in case.
Interesting enough, my teachers sister, up until recently attended our church today here in Stratford! ( Mrs Thompson)
Well, from that snowy winters eve on, I never again took another pill for epilepsy and I never again had another seizure! Completely healed!
James 5:16
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Matthew 17:20
"You don't have enough faith" Jesus told them. " I tell you the truth,if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain. Move from here to there, and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.
There were times when I would wake up in the hospital having no recollection of how I got there. Every time the answer was the same. "You had a convulsion"
I don't remember having them but I do recall one time being told that I had been playing at the school playground with some neighbourhood friends. I had a spell and had fallen off the monkey bars.
The school was just a few doors down from our home and one of my friends ran told my mom that I had fallen and wouldn't get up.
Now a days a parent would never send a child that young to play in the park without adult supervision. I guess times were different back then. It didn't seem to be that big of a deal. Maybe because I was with three or four other friends.
Anyway, when I came to, I was in the hospital.
One time it was a Sunday morning, and I distinctly remember asking the Dr. what day it was. When he told me it was Sunday I told him " Well, you had better let me out of here. I have to go to church!"
When I was a little girl, I truly loved Jesus with all my heart. I loved going to church and loved learning about him, and loved the worship part of the service.
Back then our church had an evening service that we always went to. On Sunday night there was a huge snow storm. My church at the time, ( Hiway Pentecostal) in Ingersoll had, had a special speaker there in the morning. Due to the storm he was stranded and unable to make his next speaking engagement. So, our pastor invited him to speak in the evening service.
He spoke on healing and I don't recall any of his message but I do know that with all my heart I sure didn't want to have epilepsy anymore. I heard that Jesus would heal me! I didn't have to have it anymore..I wanted that!
When the speaker called people up to the front that wanted to be healed, you can be sure I went forward. I believed with all my 6 year old little heart that Jesus would make me all better!
I was standing beside a friend at the time and the minister laid hands on both of us at the same time.
His prayer went something like this.."Father we pray for this brother and sister.." He didn't get to finish because I interrupted him and said."He is not my brother" I know now that wasn't what he meant.:-0)
Anyway, I didn't question if I was healed or not. I didn't go home thinking that "I sure hope I was healed!..or maybe He healed me" No, I simply believed with all my heart that He healed me; no doubt whatsoever. I don't think the thought crossed my mind that it might not happen. Oh to have that child like faith today! No seeds of doubt planted in my heart.
The next morning came and my mom had my pills set aside for me to take. I was on dilantin and phenobarb. I told her "I don't need those pills anymore, Jesus healed me!"
My mom was very concerned and still wanted me to take them. Now that I am a mom I totally get that thinking..I might be the same way actually if I were in her shoes. She was afraid of something happening; worried about her little girl having yet another seizure.
My dad has always been rather calm, easy going and relaxed; not so high strung, and he calmed her down. "Just wait and see"
I think he didn't want to destroy the faith that I had at 6 years old.
Still, a phone call was made to my teacher that morning, to explain the situation of me going to school without being medicated. My teacher was a christian though so she would have understood about divine healing. Basically she asked my teacher to keep an eye on me just in case.
Interesting enough, my teachers sister, up until recently attended our church today here in Stratford! ( Mrs Thompson)
Well, from that snowy winters eve on, I never again took another pill for epilepsy and I never again had another seizure! Completely healed!
James 5:16
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Matthew 17:20
"You don't have enough faith" Jesus told them. " I tell you the truth,if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain. Move from here to there, and it would move. Nothing would be impossible.
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