What do our kids think of all this?

Many people have asked us how are kids are feeling about moving to Honduras.
Below are their initial reactions.

Jacob:

Before the words were even out of our mouths, Jake, our oldest son said. "Please tell me that we are going to move to Honduras!"
Our jaws dropped because out of all three of our children, we assumed Jake would be the one to give us the most grief.
That was not the reaction we were expecting. He totally shocked us by being a hundred percent on board with us.  He wanted a change in scenery, to experience a new culture, a new beginning and a chance to start over.
A few people know how over the years we have struggled with him from day one. One issue after another. We would overcome one obstacle only to be thrown something else, something worse than before. At times things looked hopeless and the feelings of despair were overwhelming at times.  We were at our wits end spent allot of time crying out to God to get through to him.  Nothing seemed to help. Not art therapy when he was young, not counselling, not a trip to the police station, not the intervention weekend with his older biological sisters...
But then this summer something happened.
We allowed him to help at a christian camp. At first we were not going to allow him to go, but we really felt like God was saying "let him go"
I spoke about this in another entry so I guess I am repeating myself here...but he came back from that camp a changed young man.
I can say with confidence that he is not the same guy he was before the summer. His demeanor, his attitudes, the way he spends his spare time, what he watches on TV, the music he listens too....
He gave his life to God, totally, one hundred percent....and He changed him from the inside out.
Where counselling and therapy failed...God prevailed, and it's beautiful!
I am so proud of him.

Jake is a very gifted guitar player and artist.
Favorite colour.... lime green.
Favorite music ...Hillsongs United
Favorite movie...Avatar

Benjamin

Our middle child Ben is a blond haired, blue eyed sports enthusiast.  He has always been very good any sport he sets his hand to try,  very good natured, with a sunny personality. He is a thoughtful kid, always asking if there is anything he can do to help. Ben is full of energy and fun. He was NOT so keen on going to Honduras in the beginning.
He loves his sports especially snowboarding and how would he do that in Honduras? And friends...he has a couple really close friends. It would be HARD to say goodbye to them. In his words, we were forcing him to go, not giving him a choice or a say in the decision. He was very adamant about how he felt.
However in August he met other MK's ( missionary kids) who were in the same boat as him.  Some of them had spent most of their life outside of Canada. One had never lived here but had spent his whole life in Senegal and much preferred it there to here. Between the friendships he made with the other MK's, and the influence and leadership of Matt Janes, the MK's youth pastor, and God speaking to his young heart...Ben's heart was changed.
I will never forget when Ben stood in front of everyone at Segue; adults, youth and children. Dale and I looked at each other, not knowing he was going to do this and not knowing what was going to come out of his mouth when he said.."When my parents first told me we were going to Honduras, I did not want to go, but now I am looking forward to it."
It was all I could do to keep the tears from flowing.
Out of all the kids, Ben is giving up the most because of his love of winter and all things to do with winter. He for one is praying for a ton of snow before we go!

Favorite Colour ... Blue
Favorite Movie....Hunger games
Favorite Sports...Snowboarding, Basketball, Skateboarding.

 

 

 

Elisa is our youngest child. She is a happy 11 year old who loves to sing, dance and shop.
She is our drama queen. She is very outgoing and loves to talk...though she does have her shy moments.
Her first reaction was to be excited...over the top as Elisa can often be.
Then reality sunk into her heart. While she was excited and happy to go, she thought of all the goodbyes, all the things familiar she would be leaving behind and it made her sad.
Going to the mall and hanging out with her friends, walking around the avon river, playing at upper queens park, her grandparents, her pets....
If you asked her today how she was feeling she would tell you.
Happy. Sad.

Favorite Colour....Purple
Favorite Music....Yancy, Deana Hoyles
Favorite Movie....Soul Surfer

"Forever family" How our story began...

This Thanksgiving there are so many things I am thankful for but today I wanted to focus on one thing...my family.

 

 

I had always wanted three or four children for as long as I could remember. But after 8 years of marriage it was a dream that I had long given up on; although I felt the pain of being childless all the time.
Dale and I were living just outside of Essex in the country. He was children's pastor at the church and I offered child care in our home. I was caring for one family that had a little boy and two foster children. After chatting with the mom about the need for foster parents in the area an idea was born in my heart that this was something we could do! We had a ton of space in that home, and I thought we could make a difference in a child's life. I believed it was something we should pursue.

We made the call to CAS and then began the invasive home study and a ten week long fostering course with other prospective foster parents.
It was during the home study we were informed that they would never place children in our home under the age of 6. They felt that us not being able to have our own children we would not want to give the children up when it was time for them to go home with their parents.
That was so disappointing! I felt like I was a better fit with younger children as I had been "babysitting" younger kids for years and really loved that age. I knew that older children came with more baggage and would be more of a challenge and I honestly didn't think I could handle an older school aged child; not with the attitudes and acting out. I felt defeated before we even began.

We were not even finished with our course when the call came from CAS.  They were in desperate need for a home for a brother and sister. Could we take them right away?
Their ages were eighteen months and two years old!
I don't have to tell you how excited and happy I was. It was a dream come true!
They came for a visit one evening to meet us first before they made the move to our home.
Blue eyed, curly blond haired Benny and his brown eyed little sister. Both of them were so cute.
Dale had set me down before we met them and said " We cannot get attached to these kids" He had a plan to just hold them at arms length and not get his heart involved.
After meeting them that line of thinking went out the window because it was love at first sight!

Benny was hyper, always on the go and very clumsy; accident prone. I remember one time he walked right into a glass door at church, rubbed his head and asked " How did that get there?" 
That has been a saying that we now use all the time!
Elisa was always cute and just an all around happy child. Just learning to walk, she was a bit wobbly on her feet.

 

 

Every week they had visits with their mom, older sisters and brother. We would get them ready, a driver would come and pick them up and then drop them back off again when the visit was over.
Four months in we received a call asking us if we had room for the brother Jake. He; like Ben and Elisa was being made "crown ward no access"  At the time he was still living with his older sisters who still had visits with mom. In order to make things easier they wanted to move him in with us. It would have been devastating to have to tell him that his sisters could go see mom but he had to stay behind. Can you imagine having to explain that to a four year old?

Anyway, we definitely had the space, so the last day of school that summer, Jake came to live with us. He was exactly like his worker described ....a little pistol! Cute as a button though...but my goodness what a handful. His first night in our home he peed on the carpet in his room!

It is a long story but eventually mom signed off on the kids. We didn't even have to go to court to sing the affidavit.
We had a lawyer tell us, "look, if you want to adopt these kids...speak up!"
Of course we did. We wanted to keep them together as a family..not have each of them end up in separate foster homes never again to see each other.
And so the adoption process began.  We had another home study and an adoption course to complete. It took what seemed like forever.

By the time everything was final, Elisa was already four years old.
There was a lot of red tape. The courts had to sign off on the dad because he was no where to be found, there were spelling mistakes between the health card and the birth certificate, one thing after another , another hoop to jump through, the glitches kept coming.
My greatest fear in it all was that we would lose the kids. It was taking so very long. I was afraid that mom would change her mind and want the kids back, and that would be it, they would be gone, lost to us forever, our dreams of being a forever family destroyed.
Thankfully, that didn't happen and when everything was final we had them dedicated to the glory of God in our church in Essex. Family was there along with our kids siblings ( who by the way we still maintain relationships with) and all of the workers who had worked along side from the beginning.
Afterwards one of the workers commented on what a miracle it was and it was obvious who we worked for.

Indeed it was a miracle. It was a dream realized. Not just one child, but three....instant family!

It has been several years since that journey began as our children are now 11, 12 and 14. In some ways it seems like they have always been with us. It has been an adventure since the day they walked through the door and stepped into our hearts.
It hasn't always been easy.  There have been a lot of challenges and things to work through. We aren't perfect parents, we have made our share of mistakes, but we are there for each other, we love each other through it all. Today and always I am thankful for them!

 

Here is a photo of the kids with their older sisters Maria and Anna.

 

Heart Stirrings

It was during a missions service one evening at the church I grew up in; Calvary Pentecostal in Woodstock Ontario. The Keddy's were speaking and I was so stirred in my spirit. I knew one day I wanted to go. I guess that is when I first felt the "call" I would have been around twenty at the time.
I actually did have an opportunity to go to Africa one time. All I really had to do was find a way there. But then life happened. I met Dale!
However, I think it is something that both of us have always felt we would do someday. Maybe when the kids were grown, out of school, on their own.
Yet, now is the time!
It was this past fall during my quiet times/devotions that I began to sense a change was coming. I really felt as though God was telling me that we would be going on the mission field full time.
I kept it to myself for a while. I didn't tell Dale. I "put my fleece out" and told the Lord, "Ok God, if this is truly of You, then You need to tell Dale the same thing." Sometimes I struggle with truly knowing if it is God or my emotions talking to me..
I did tell my friend Deana though how I was feeling over coffee one night. I told her I had a sense that Bethel would be our last church and that I thought we would be going on the missions field.
Around the same time, several people were approaching Dale telling him that he would be a great lead pastor. A similar comment was also made by the regional director and if Dale wanted to put his name out there, let him know and they would help him find a church.
Flattering as that was, my husband has always said he would be ALWAYS be a children's pastor. That's where his heart is.
He was unsure about how he felt about it all, and he really didn't think it was something he wanted to pursue.
As for me, it created some confusion in my heart. Perhaps a little disappointment too. Not that I didn't think my husband would make a great lead pastor- but if that truly was the path God was leading him on, then what I 'thought' I heard must have been in my head.
Don't get me wrong. The idea of moving to a foreign country scared me to death. It still does! The thought of leaving all the we know here, the amazing life that we have come to love, our aging parents, friends, our beloved beagle Maddie whom we have had for 11 years now. It made me sad.
Not to mention the cultural differences, trying to find a home to live in, a school for the children. The list goes on, but those three things are pretty much at the top.
When we decided to do a short term missions trip to Honduras, I think part of me knew that it wasn't going to end at the end of our short term trip, that it would end up being something bigger. I felt it in the depths of my heart and it terrified me...yet excited me too. Hard to explain. I just knew that if God wanted us to go then we definitely had to go!
One evening when the girls on the team retired to our bunk room for the evening, I wrote this in my journal..
" Standing in the play area of the school, overlooking the city I felt so overwhelmed. Almost like God was saying " how can you think of leaving?" I am afraid to write what I am really feeling- but I sense that what we did today is what Dale and I will be doing and we are going to be here some day."
then on our last day in Honduras, I wrote,,,
"My heart is here in Honduras...One day I'll return"

Survival mode

Dumpsters on the side of the road - a familiar scene. Most of them have people walking through them in search of something of value to sell to make a little money. It's one of the saddest sights I have ever seen.

Imagine if that was your life - a life of poverty.
Rummaging through garbage to find something-anything worth selling to help provide for yourself or your family. What if that were your means of survival, a daily routine? How would  you cope?

If your income was $1 or $2 a day or less, how would you survive ?
How would you provide for your family on such meager wages? Would your heart not long for more..? A comfortable home, food on the table, clothing and not to mention an education for your children?
All the things we take for granted here.
These people are destitute, they have nothing; and it's all about surviving.Taking what you need to live, to help your family.
I remember the children living in the mountains outside of Tegucigalpa.  In the area we were in, three schools were in close vicinity. If it had been safe to, we could have walked from one to the other.
Between these three schools, 1088 children were in attendance. This number does not include the babies, toddlers or children who's parents for whatever reason did not send their children to school.
Many of these kids have never been off the mountain. They have never been to the city. All they know is the life they live...poverty, despair and hopelessness. I have heard that in these mountain areas, physical and sexual abuse runs rampant. Can you imagine if that was all you knew?
In most cases children in public schools only go to grade 6.  After that many of these children end up on the streets.

Is 58 :10
Feed the hungry, and help those who are in trouble. Then your light will shine out from the darkness and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon. The Lord will guide you continually, giving you water when you are dry and restoring your strength.

One day when we were in Honduras, we made bologna and frijole sandwiches and juice to and out to the street people; the homeless.
In these areas shoes were strung over hydro wires indicating we were in gang territory and drugs were available here. We saw money being raised up to a window by a rope and by that same rope, drugs being lowered to the street below.
We saw many prostitutes, and people addicted to drugs, and many with bottles of glue under their shirts, vacant eyes.
We went with Alvin who has a real ministry to these people. He was like Jesus with skin on. He knew their name, knew their story. He loved them for who they were, who they could be and where they were at.
They knew he loved them unconditionally and they loved him too. They called him Pappy.

I remember one young woman, I believe she was just 23 years old. She already had two children and was pregnant with her third. She was crippled, could barely walk and yet she had been a prostitute since she was 12 years old. A childhood robbed by the many men who used her and clouded by hopelessness and despair.
In that area a man could buy a woman for the entire night for $5.

Alvin introduced to another young girl; 14 years old. Her mother was a prostitute, her older sister was a prostitute. When she was a little girl she told Pappy Alvin that she would never do the things here mom and sister did, and yet there she was continuing the vicious cycle, her innocence long gone.
Her entire life, that was all she had ever known.

The time in the streets definitely had me out of my comfort zone. At times it was rather scary; especially for someone like me who has lived a rather sheltered life.
Yet inside I felt broken for them- the hopelessness of the situation- the seemingly no way out- no way to break free from the chains that bound them to this lifestyle.
But God!!

Jer 29:11, 12
"For I know the plans I have for you" says the Lord. "they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In these days when you pray I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me and I will be found by you" says the Lord.

So I ask  you to pray for them. Pray that somehow through the acts of kindness and love, they come to truly know the Love of God, that it becomes not just head knowledge but that it is deeply rooted into their heart..and that they would know beyond a shadow of a doubt that through Him there IS hope- a way out of the darkness and the sin that entraps them. He can free them, transform and change them if they turn to Him.

Psalms 72:12-14
He will rescue the poor when they cry out to Him.  He will help the oppressed, who have no one to defend them. He feels pity for the weak and the needy and he will rescue them. He will redeem them from oppression and violence for their lives are precious to Him.

Fear...it gets in the way.

About three months before were to leave on our short term missions trip a fire broke out in the prison in Tegucigalpa. Over 200 dead, and many missing. We were faced with a decision...to go or not to go. Now, if you were a prisoner and you escaped because there was a fire...would you hang around the city or head for the  nearest border? I know if it were me, I sure wouldn't be hanging around town. I'd be on the fastest train out of there. No way would I want to hang around, get caught and go back to jail!

When my husband Dale told me that he was considering canceling it, my heart sank and disappointment settled in like a cold, dark morning. I questioned God and his plan in all this.
In the end after much prayer and seeking the Lord, the trip was still on!
However a number of people backed out so our team was not as large as it once was. For some of them I think there was a little fear due to the prison fire but,
I believe though that it was all a God thing. He knew who was suppose to go and who was suppose to stay home this time.

When we arrived at our accomodations and saw the bunk house...there would not have been room for everyone that had originally planned on going. I know that alternative plans would have been made to make room for everyone but I thought that was kind of cool! God worked out even the smallest details and he knew ahead of time how many bunks there were and how many chairs would fit around the table at meal time.

Shortly after we arrived and we discussed our itineray we were informed that all of us would be speaking at some point in the church service on the Sunday. Now those of you who know me, know that I am quiet.  I have never felt that God has gifted me with the gift of public speaking. This is sad, but in all the years my husband and I have been in ministry, I have only spoken one time in front of people. It was at a WM meeting a few years ago in another town, and I shared the story of our kids adoption.  Fear stood in my way I guess...not knowing what to say, fear of not having the right words or messing up, being tongue tied. Fear of having all eyes on me, of sounding stupid, looking fat..the list goes on and on... It has never been that I never wanted to...I did but was afraid.  Especially in the early years of our ministry. If only I had trusted Him to help me and let Him be my strength! I wonder how many times He wanted to use me but maybe couldn't because fear and insecurity got in the way.
Fear is so debilitating!

It says in Isaiah 30:18 that the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for His help.
Isaiah 41:10 Don't be afraid for I am with you. Don't be discouraged for I am your God. I WILL strengthen you and I WILL help you. I WILL uphold you with my victorious right hand.
 Phil.4:13 I can do ALL things through Him who gives me the strength.

I remember one time a few months ago in a service in my home church in Stratford, I strongly felt God telling me to go up to the front and share my testimony of healing...but did I listen, did I obey?
No, I quietly sat in my seat and the moment passed...
James 4:17 says that it is a sin to know what you ought to do and not do it...and so I confess, I sinned against the Lord and against my church family that Sunday. Who knows who was in the service that Sunday that maybe needed to hear what I so desperately wanted to share.
Fear.


This time, in Honduras, I felt that He wanted me to share it again...
That Sunday came and I clammed up again!  I was the first in line to talk and kept my testimony of how I came to know the Lord very brief..maybe two sentences. .However when Wed. rolled around and we were called upon to share in more detail, I shared the testimony of how He healed me when I was but a little child...I didn't share all the details,  but the fact is Jesus healed me and He deserves the glory for it!
But the story of my healing will follow on another day!

 

The journey to Honduras

It all began on a cruise for our 15th Wedding Anniversary in 2010.  One of the ports we stopped at was Roatan Honduras. We didn't book any excursions here. There was a beautiful beach we could relax at, but since we were stopped for a few hours  we decided to go on a tour. It didn't take long to find a driver who was willing to show us around. At first we were a little alarmed as the drive knew little if any English. Within a few minutes though he pulled over on the side of the road and picked up a young boy, who couldn't have been more than 12 years old. He spoke fluent English, and would be our guide for the drive.  We wondered why he would not be in school. He told he had this job during the day to help provide for his family; (a mom and sisters) and he went to school in the evening.

Nothing could have prepared me that day for the sites I saw. The tin shacks that people lived in,  little flimsy make shift houses smaller than our shed at home.I remember seeing the dirt floors through open doors, children running around barefoot, playing with garbage, people wandering around with buckets on their heads. So much poverty, people living with so little.
My heart broke for the moms of those children. I knew they wanted more for them, a better life..but where could they escape too? How could they change the future of their children, give them more than the nothing that they had? And the children? Did they have a hope for the future when that is the only life they knew?
I remember standing at a lookout point overlooking the valley below. Its beauty took my breath away. I remember saying to Dale " We have to come back here. I want to do a missions trip to Honduras some day"
 It broke my heart and throughout that tour, I cried. Cried for the needy, the lost, the people living without hope. The people of Honduras.



Meeting the Lundrigan's
One of the highlights of each summer is Braeside camp. This time we were not renting a cottage there. We did drive down for the evening, which just happened to be a missions service. Severel missionaries were there that night, with tables set up outside the church with various goods from the countries they were missionaries in.


One table in particular caught my eye as it held these beautiful hand made purses. If you know me, you know how much I love that sort of thing. When I stopped for a closer look, I saw they were from Honduras! The missionaries were Randy and Judy Lundrigan.


I don't remember if I introduced myself or not but I did mention how I had wanted to go there for so long! I took my seat in the sanctuary so excited to have some sort of connection to the land that was still on my heart. I told Dale who I had met and that I still wanted to do some sort of missions trip there and he said it was possible. Hope sprang a new at the thought that it could actually come to pass.


A short while later I looked them up on facebook and sent a message to Judy about a possible missions trip for our church. Then through severel emails back and forth between her and my husband a plan was made.

Proverbs 3:6
Seek His will in all you do and He will show you the path to take.






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