What do our kids think of all this?

Many people have asked us how are kids are feeling about moving to Honduras.
Below are their initial reactions.

Jacob:

Before the words were even out of our mouths, Jake, our oldest son said. "Please tell me that we are going to move to Honduras!"
Our jaws dropped because out of all three of our children, we assumed Jake would be the one to give us the most grief.
That was not the reaction we were expecting. He totally shocked us by being a hundred percent on board with us.  He wanted a change in scenery, to experience a new culture, a new beginning and a chance to start over.
A few people know how over the years we have struggled with him from day one. One issue after another. We would overcome one obstacle only to be thrown something else, something worse than before. At times things looked hopeless and the feelings of despair were overwhelming at times.  We were at our wits end spent allot of time crying out to God to get through to him.  Nothing seemed to help. Not art therapy when he was young, not counselling, not a trip to the police station, not the intervention weekend with his older biological sisters...
But then this summer something happened.
We allowed him to help at a christian camp. At first we were not going to allow him to go, but we really felt like God was saying "let him go"
I spoke about this in another entry so I guess I am repeating myself here...but he came back from that camp a changed young man.
I can say with confidence that he is not the same guy he was before the summer. His demeanor, his attitudes, the way he spends his spare time, what he watches on TV, the music he listens too....
He gave his life to God, totally, one hundred percent....and He changed him from the inside out.
Where counselling and therapy failed...God prevailed, and it's beautiful!
I am so proud of him.

Jake is a very gifted guitar player and artist.
Favorite colour.... lime green.
Favorite music ...Hillsongs United
Favorite movie...Avatar

Benjamin

Our middle child Ben is a blond haired, blue eyed sports enthusiast.  He has always been very good any sport he sets his hand to try,  very good natured, with a sunny personality. He is a thoughtful kid, always asking if there is anything he can do to help. Ben is full of energy and fun. He was NOT so keen on going to Honduras in the beginning.
He loves his sports especially snowboarding and how would he do that in Honduras? And friends...he has a couple really close friends. It would be HARD to say goodbye to them. In his words, we were forcing him to go, not giving him a choice or a say in the decision. He was very adamant about how he felt.
However in August he met other MK's ( missionary kids) who were in the same boat as him.  Some of them had spent most of their life outside of Canada. One had never lived here but had spent his whole life in Senegal and much preferred it there to here. Between the friendships he made with the other MK's, and the influence and leadership of Matt Janes, the MK's youth pastor, and God speaking to his young heart...Ben's heart was changed.
I will never forget when Ben stood in front of everyone at Segue; adults, youth and children. Dale and I looked at each other, not knowing he was going to do this and not knowing what was going to come out of his mouth when he said.."When my parents first told me we were going to Honduras, I did not want to go, but now I am looking forward to it."
It was all I could do to keep the tears from flowing.
Out of all the kids, Ben is giving up the most because of his love of winter and all things to do with winter. He for one is praying for a ton of snow before we go!

Favorite Colour ... Blue
Favorite Movie....Hunger games
Favorite Sports...Snowboarding, Basketball, Skateboarding.

 

 

 

Elisa is our youngest child. She is a happy 11 year old who loves to sing, dance and shop.
She is our drama queen. She is very outgoing and loves to talk...though she does have her shy moments.
Her first reaction was to be excited...over the top as Elisa can often be.
Then reality sunk into her heart. While she was excited and happy to go, she thought of all the goodbyes, all the things familiar she would be leaving behind and it made her sad.
Going to the mall and hanging out with her friends, walking around the avon river, playing at upper queens park, her grandparents, her pets....
If you asked her today how she was feeling she would tell you.
Happy. Sad.

Favorite Colour....Purple
Favorite Music....Yancy, Deana Hoyles
Favorite Movie....Soul Surfer

"Forever family" How our story began...

This Thanksgiving there are so many things I am thankful for but today I wanted to focus on one thing...my family.

 

 

I had always wanted three or four children for as long as I could remember. But after 8 years of marriage it was a dream that I had long given up on; although I felt the pain of being childless all the time.
Dale and I were living just outside of Essex in the country. He was children's pastor at the church and I offered child care in our home. I was caring for one family that had a little boy and two foster children. After chatting with the mom about the need for foster parents in the area an idea was born in my heart that this was something we could do! We had a ton of space in that home, and I thought we could make a difference in a child's life. I believed it was something we should pursue.

We made the call to CAS and then began the invasive home study and a ten week long fostering course with other prospective foster parents.
It was during the home study we were informed that they would never place children in our home under the age of 6. They felt that us not being able to have our own children we would not want to give the children up when it was time for them to go home with their parents.
That was so disappointing! I felt like I was a better fit with younger children as I had been "babysitting" younger kids for years and really loved that age. I knew that older children came with more baggage and would be more of a challenge and I honestly didn't think I could handle an older school aged child; not with the attitudes and acting out. I felt defeated before we even began.

We were not even finished with our course when the call came from CAS.  They were in desperate need for a home for a brother and sister. Could we take them right away?
Their ages were eighteen months and two years old!
I don't have to tell you how excited and happy I was. It was a dream come true!
They came for a visit one evening to meet us first before they made the move to our home.
Blue eyed, curly blond haired Benny and his brown eyed little sister. Both of them were so cute.
Dale had set me down before we met them and said " We cannot get attached to these kids" He had a plan to just hold them at arms length and not get his heart involved.
After meeting them that line of thinking went out the window because it was love at first sight!

Benny was hyper, always on the go and very clumsy; accident prone. I remember one time he walked right into a glass door at church, rubbed his head and asked " How did that get there?" 
That has been a saying that we now use all the time!
Elisa was always cute and just an all around happy child. Just learning to walk, she was a bit wobbly on her feet.

 

 

Every week they had visits with their mom, older sisters and brother. We would get them ready, a driver would come and pick them up and then drop them back off again when the visit was over.
Four months in we received a call asking us if we had room for the brother Jake. He; like Ben and Elisa was being made "crown ward no access"  At the time he was still living with his older sisters who still had visits with mom. In order to make things easier they wanted to move him in with us. It would have been devastating to have to tell him that his sisters could go see mom but he had to stay behind. Can you imagine having to explain that to a four year old?

Anyway, we definitely had the space, so the last day of school that summer, Jake came to live with us. He was exactly like his worker described ....a little pistol! Cute as a button though...but my goodness what a handful. His first night in our home he peed on the carpet in his room!

It is a long story but eventually mom signed off on the kids. We didn't even have to go to court to sing the affidavit.
We had a lawyer tell us, "look, if you want to adopt these kids...speak up!"
Of course we did. We wanted to keep them together as a family..not have each of them end up in separate foster homes never again to see each other.
And so the adoption process began.  We had another home study and an adoption course to complete. It took what seemed like forever.

By the time everything was final, Elisa was already four years old.
There was a lot of red tape. The courts had to sign off on the dad because he was no where to be found, there were spelling mistakes between the health card and the birth certificate, one thing after another , another hoop to jump through, the glitches kept coming.
My greatest fear in it all was that we would lose the kids. It was taking so very long. I was afraid that mom would change her mind and want the kids back, and that would be it, they would be gone, lost to us forever, our dreams of being a forever family destroyed.
Thankfully, that didn't happen and when everything was final we had them dedicated to the glory of God in our church in Essex. Family was there along with our kids siblings ( who by the way we still maintain relationships with) and all of the workers who had worked along side from the beginning.
Afterwards one of the workers commented on what a miracle it was and it was obvious who we worked for.

Indeed it was a miracle. It was a dream realized. Not just one child, but three....instant family!

It has been several years since that journey began as our children are now 11, 12 and 14. In some ways it seems like they have always been with us. It has been an adventure since the day they walked through the door and stepped into our hearts.
It hasn't always been easy.  There have been a lot of challenges and things to work through. We aren't perfect parents, we have made our share of mistakes, but we are there for each other, we love each other through it all. Today and always I am thankful for them!

 

Here is a photo of the kids with their older sisters Maria and Anna.

 

One Wednesday in October..

It has been a rough day or so. A discovery was made that made my heart stop and left me reeling inside with a gnawing sense of worry.
With the simple click of the mouse...mystery solved. What was hidden was made known, the truth glaring at me from the screen of the laptop.
My husband would say I am worrying over nothing and perhaps I am....but isn't that my job as a mom?
I love how God does that. He puts something on our heart to clue us in to what is going on with our children. It's like a nudge or a whisper in the ear. It's that sense of knowing not all is as it appears. Something is up..and then He shows us.



Jer. 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

But Satan has other plans and they are the opposite of God's plans. Plans to steal, kill and destroy.
He doesn't want us to have that future or a hope God has for us so he weaves his deception, his lies into our hearts and minds so we think something is ok..or harmless when it is far from it.
We can't serve two masters.
We can't be a part time christian- only at church ....but at school, work or wherever we may be live like the devil. The things that we do, the places we go, the things we watch on tv or the internet..etc
Either we are serving Him or we are not.

Rev 3:15, 16
I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot or cold.  I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither not or cold, I will spit you out of my mouth!

We need to stop and think would we want our christian friends,  or our pastor knowing what we are up to when no one else is around? If Jesus were standing beside us in the flesh would we still do it?
Satan is the father of lies. His goal is to destroy us.
Sometimes it's subtle. He may use "stuff" to distract us. Stuff that isn't necessarily bad in itself, but maybe it replaces the time that we once spent in the word, praying or talking to God.
The descent may be slow, where we don't even notice how far we've slipped and fallen, until we find ourselves doing things or thinking things we know would break the heart of God.

A song that comes to mind is that old Steve Camp song "the fire that once burned bright, we've let it grow dim. And the very Word we said that we would die for, all has been forgotten as the world's become our friend"

I don't want to see my child struggle. I know high school is a tough place to be a christian; even more so than when I was there many years ago. I know his desire to serve Jesus. The change in him this past summer was nothing short of miraculous. I believe with all my heart is was all part of the preparation he is in for when we go to Honduras.  God did an amazing work in him!
But, I also know his desire to fit in with his peers. The desire to be liked and accepted. There is also that  teenage arrogance there thinking he is on top of the world and can handle anything that is thrown at him.

I know it is spiritual warfare and the battle for his soul is on. The battle for all our souls really. Whether we are going on the mission field or not. Whether we are rich or poor, young or old...


Eph. 6:12
For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies., but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.



Heb 12:1,2a
Therefore since we are surrounded by such a large crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up, And let us run with endurance the race that God has set before us.  We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.

That is the prayer for my family...that we would constantly keep our eyes on Him..that we would not look to the left or right or get side tracked by things in this life..that we would continue to pursue Him as we walk this journey, the road to Hope.

Friend to the "friendless"

 I was so proud of my son Benjamin yesterday.

On our street lives an autistic boy  "J" who is about 9 or 10  years old.
"J" is on new meds that him wandering all over the place at all hours of the day and night for that matter.   He will come up to the door and want in the house and I will tell him he needs to go home because his mommy is looking for him. I am not sure if there is a dad in the picture or not as I have only seen his mom with him. I have watched her struggle with him trying to get him to listen or reason. Quite often he does his own thing as he tunes her out.
  Yesterday Ben went outside and played with him even though he would have rather been doing other things.....for 5 hours! What sacrifice.
"J" had been hanging around our house looking in the screen door, wandering around the yard wanting someone to play with. He was really starting to get on my nerves, and here is Ben showing the love of Jesus to him by being a friend to him, regardless if the child was "different"...It didn't bother Ben in the least, he liked him for him. Really put me to shame.
He later told me that "J" is a nice kid once you get to know him.
That's my boy....liking people for who they are as a person...he takes the time to get to know people . Who cares if society deems them as different or annoying. He gives them a chance and knows how to be a friend.
Isn't that a lot like Jesus?
He loves us all regardless of who we are, where we are or what we have done, unconditionally. We don't have to become anything to be worthy of His love. He always has time for us. He is always there for us.
Nothing can separate us from His love..nothing!

Romans 8:31-39 ( The Message)

 So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn’t hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing himself to the worst by sending his own Son, is there anything else he wouldn’t gladly and freely do for us? And who would dare tangle with God by messing with one of God’s chosen? Who would dare even to point a finger? The One who died for us—who was raised to life for us!—is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ’s love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture:

They kill us in cold blood because they hate you.
We’re sitting ducks; they pick us off one by one.

None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us.

Tough pill to swallow

A couple of years ago my daughter was diagnosed with ADD. It made perfect sense;  a piece to the puzzle solved...and yet when I heard... I cried.
I thought back to all the times I was hard on her for not keeping her room to my standards, for just throwing her stuff all over the place and not being able to focus on any one thing, being so easily distracted. It made perfect sense, much as I didn't want to accept it.
I would send her off to her room to do a few things only to come back and find not one of them done.  Honestly..it drove me crazy!
So, when I heard there was a reason for all these behaviours, not just her trying to be disobedient; something inside of me broke.

Our Dr put her on a low dose and from day one her teachers noticed a huge difference in her. She was listening and no longer disrupting the class, her grades improved.  The meds were only for school, for concentrating on her lessons. She would not be on them on the weekends or any school vacations.

This year however, in chatting with her teacher one morning, the thought went through my mind that perhaps her dosage needed to be increased.  She didn't seem to be doing as well. She was slipping into her old patterns.
However the next morning a light went on! It was one of those aha moments. I clued in that she had not been taking her medication.
I didn't think at her age that I needed to stand over her and make certain that she actually takes the pill but apparently I should have.
When confronted about it her reply broke my heart.
"Mommy, I just wanted to prove to everyone that I don't need the pills anymore"

How she hates having ADD . She hates to be labelled a stupid ADD girl as some kids have called her. I can't count the times she has prayed that she would wake up and not have it anymore.
My heart hurts for her.  How I wish I could just take an eraser and blot this out of her life so she no longer has to struggle with it and feel that she is "different" than everyone else.
I long for her to realize her full potential. She IS smart, compassionate, sweet and giving.  This is the girl that spent some of her birthday money on a beta fish for her brother Ben to replace his fish that our cat killed.  Rather than spending it on herself she spent it on her brother and totally brightened his day. She was so excited that day!

 She doesn't want to need the meds that help her so she was trying to do it on her own without them and it just did not work.

How many times do we do that in life? All of us have done it at one time or another. Trying to do life in our strength without God's help, and end up falling flat on our face. Just like it says in Phil 4.:13...that "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me the strength..."
 I believe that without Him we can do nothing..and we will fail if we rely on our own strength.
It's kind of like getting in a car that has no gas and expecting to go somewhere...it's not gonna happen!

Recently my mother in law was chatting with a friend who is a global worker in another part of Central America. Her grandson had come to visit for a year and his ADD symptoms all but disappeared while he was living there. The reason?  They believe that it is because the food there does not have all the additives in it that the food here has.
I have also heard that in Honduras, ADD is unheard of.  I don't even know for sure if her medication will be available there.
Perhaps once my daughter is on a different "diet" her symptoms too will disappear...
that's this mother's prayer anyway.

Blessings along the way...

August was a crazy busy month for us. It seemed we were hardly ever home, between Segue and weekends away.
A few days after returning home from Segue, we went camping in the St. Catharines area with family friends. It was the first time we had ever camped without electricity and running water. Even without these amenities it was a  much needed relaxing time.

On this campground there was a little "corner" store. Elisa had gone there with her friend from the other family; Curtis. The two of them are very close.  It's kind of cute to watch them actually.
One day Elisa came running back to our campsite all excited about something she had seen at the store that she wanted me to buy for her. I went with her to see what all the fuss was about. There sitting in a basket were these glow in the dark earrings. They were like those glow sticks you can buy at the dollar store that only last a few hours. We used to buy them all the time for the kids when they were younger and we would give them to them before bed around the campfire when we were camping.  These were two inch versions of these, made into earrings. I didn't buy them for her because they would only last a few hours and then the glow would be gone. A pointless  waste of money, I thought...

Fast forward to the following weekend.  We camped at Braeside camp for Holy Spirit weekend.
The same family was there as they were running the children's program at the camp. It wasn't long after we arrived that Curtis showed up at our campsite and he and Elisa went off to play at the near by park.
Curtis mom and I were chatting and she told me that Curtis had bought Elisa a gift but she didn't know if he would give it to her or not.
He did.
He presented it to her in this little wooden box with a heart on top. What was in that box?
You guessed it...the glow in the dark earrings she so desperately wanted!
Elisa told me afterwards that Curtis had spent all his money on them.
Curtis knew how much she wanted them.  His gift was the perfect gift for her and from the heart. It made Elisa so happy as she proudly wore them around the camp that night and basked in the many compliments she received about her glow in the dark earrings.
I admit a part of me felt really bad for not buying them for her. They were not that expensive after all....but oh the joy they brought her.

I was reminded of God's love for us and His desire to give us good gifts.
Matthew 7:11
So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly father give good gifts to those who ask him?

I thought too about how God gave us His all in giving us His only son..a precious, priceless gift....the gift that gives us eternal life if we believe in Him...
John 3:16
For God loved the world so much that He gave us His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will have eternal life.


Finally I want to share about a gift that I received this week.
For a while now I have been mentioning to Dale that the only thing I wanted for Christmas...provided we had the money; was an e reader. It would be awesome to have in Honduras to be able to read in my spare time. It gets dark there around 5:30 or 6pm all year around, and you don't go out once it's dark .so what does one do in the evenings?  I am pretty sure even in libraries English books would be few and far between, and do they even have libraries in Honduras?  I don't know.

At noon the other day when Dale came home at lunch, he had a gift for me from  friends in the church...an e reader! What a kind and generous gift!
I can't tell you what a blessing that is and will be when we are away. I'm so thankful for it...both to the couple who gave it to me and to God who knew.

The Journey Continues...Segue

The past nine days we have been at "Segue" which basically means the transitioning from one situation to another.
We had several sessions a day training us in Child Care Plus, cultural differences, creative writing, funding our ministries, media and other things.
Our afternoons were filled with one on one meetings with leaders, discussing estate planning, intercession, and further courses we need to take. They all wanted to hear our hearts and our stories.
It was an exhausting and yet amazing experience, connecting and making friendships with other global workers who are headed off to other countries. We felt further confirmation of our "call"

We also had hands on experience on a trip to Toronto's China Town. It was like stepping into another world; where the sights and smells were like nothing I have ever experienced before.
We we were to find some fruit we had never seen before and inquire as to what it was and how to prepare it. Simple, right?
Not exactly. For me it was the most stressful part of the day, because it seemed, in this part of Toronto no one spoke English. This is Canada...one would assume that everyone would speak the main language of the country. Not so.
It seemed impossible to communicate with anyone. Though I was with my family, I felt stressed, alone and even a bit emotional, almost to the point of tears.

Later on we met with all the other global workers at an Ethiopian restaurant. We were served a platter of spicy meat and vegetables served on teff bread, ate with our fingers and fed one another. Dinner was followed by Ethiopian coffee; a must try for any coffee lover.

The highlight of the week at Segue was when Ben, our middle child stood at the front of the auditorium.  He told everyone that when he first was told we were going to Honduras, he absolutely hated the idea, but now he wanted to go. You need to know my son Ben loves snowboarding and basically everything about winter. Really out of all of us, he is sacrificing the most to go. So to hear him proclaim that to everyone, it was all I could do to hold back the sobs and the tears from streaming down my face. Tears of joy. This was the cry of our heart from the beginning of this journey.
The journey to hope.