Culture Shock

The beginning of this week was rough for me. Culture shock perhaps? I think so. Actually I know so. I honestly didn't expect it to hit me so hard, so soon.  Even though I have learned about all the stages one goes through and the timing of each stage is different for everyone.
 I was a mess, an emotional wreck.  This country, Honduras; the country my family is called to, the country I am called to was not the easy adjustment I thought it would be.  Many things are so very different.  And I felt so lonely.  Everything was annoying me. Things as small as the ants in my kitchen, and looking everywhere for eggs in the grocery store only to find them on a shelf in the bakery department. Then there was the seemingly insurmountable things we are dealing with as a family right now. 

Many of you know that my husband Dale has been a victim of identify theft and that is still ongoing. The list of cards that are being taken out in his name continues to grow.  It's very concerning but there is little  we can do about it except to sign affidavits that he did not make the purchases charged. Fraud.

There are also a few other issues that we are dealing with.
 Only one word can describe this week and that is this. Stress.
 Although I will say this....our kids are doing fantastic!

I hesitate to say this as it is going to sound terrible and may even shock some of you;  but if on Monday Dale had said "let's go back to Canada" I probably would have said "Alright "  Deep down in my heart that is not how I really felt. I know and believe with everything in me that God has called us here and this is home now.  So to go back to Canada I know I wouldn't have that sense of belonging there. Not when we are meant to be here.  At the same time,. here in Honduras with all the pressing issues that we are dealing with, and trying to learn a new language in a country where everything is new, it's hard to feel like you fit in. That you belong.

In this moment it seems we are being bombarded on all sides. We cry out, God help us! Where else can we turn but Him and trust that He will work it all out. And He will. We know that without a doubt. There is a reason for it all I am sure, perhaps to side track us and disrupt what God wants to do in us and through us. To make us want to pack up and go "home" To discourage us. We know these challenging times are not going to last forever.

On Wednesday I read another missionary's (Sandra McIntosh) status on Facebook and it really drove truth home to my heart. Brought a calming peace in the midst of the storm.
The timing of her post couldn't have been more perfect, or more timely.
Here is her quote below...

"When the going gets tough in full time ministry it helps to go back to the moment you were certain the Holy Spirit whispered "Go, Serve and Love" Remember how you felt, remember how you were overwhelmed at the need, remember the passion you felt to respond, remember how gripped you were in your heart and you couldn't shake it, remember when you thought the cost was worth it, remember when you made the commitment, remember when you knew that this was His call on your life." Remember?"

Then this afternoon  we were waiting in the bank and for some reason I had tucked my journal from  back in April of last year into my purse.  I pulled it out and began to read it. That was when we were here with a team from Bethel church in Stratford.. By day three of our trip I knew this was where we were suppose to be. That someday we would be here. I knew it then. I know it now. And yes, I remember.